ACADEMIC WRITING

Deductive essay

MOTOR’S DANGER

  Motor cycle beside its advantages is not safe enough as car for the cyclists and even for non cyclist people. The terrific rules for those who want to have or ride bikes should be stricter so every one who has not the suitable qualities could not ride motor cycle. The officials should make increases in the prices of forfeits. In addition the motor companies should provide their products with best qualities that motors need. There should be made some changes in some fields to prevent dangers of the motors.    

  Having a motor cycle in city like Qom, (no comma, wrong use of comma) help (helps) people to save their time and money in doing their daily works (activities). One can use (ride) his motor cycle in front of (from) his house to his work place without any inconvenience, so he is not forced to take walk toward the main street and be waiting (wait) for taxis. While many cars get stuck in a heavy and noisy traffic jam, (a) motor cyclist can pass through all stopped cars easily and get to his work. A motor cyclist can park his cycle every where without wasting (waisting) much time to find an empty place for parking. By using motor cycle people are not supposed to spend money as much as (as much money as) using (a) car or taxi. There for (Therefore) using (a) cycle instead (a) car in cities like Qom is more profitable and comfortable.

Comments: A good paragraph, except for the grammatical mistakes.