A Forum to Practice Writing for the Students of English Translation Dep., Baqir al-Olum University
Our great civilization is being shaped. Twinby says that all civilization begins from its zero-point and reaches to its peak. After that it reached its maximum point, some causes decline the altitude of that civilization and thereby that civilization declines and again it goes downward and reaches zero-point again when it started to go down its opposite civilization begins to shape. Dr Shariati says "when I was a student in 
Nowadays singers' sounds (voice) that produced by computer or modified by it (produced and modified by computer) are (is) not a good substitution (substitute)for the traditional (original) sounds (voice) that (are) produced by singers (themselves). Our body belongs to the nature and it is related to it and there is a correspondence between our (voice) sounds and the nature. We may enjoy hearing or listening to the sounds that we have not heard them before. That is indeed the reason that are attracted to that kind of songs that (why) we change the frequency of sounds and some other effects that don’t exist in the nature. We computerize the sounds and enjoy them. Indeed we enjoy Mechanical and electronic tools not the songs themselves. Indeed the message is not important to us when we used (listen to) the computerized songs. It (is) somehow related to our mental problems.
Thanks .
Comments: The idea is very interesting, but you couldn't develop it in a unified manner. Try to rewrite it, after removing the grammatical problems and checking the unity.
Many farmers have hard days. They must work hard nearly during the year. They work in (the) fall, winter, spring, and summer. They may face (different types of) dangers: snakes, (and) scorpions (may bit them), (and) some (other) animals may destroy the farm. Pigs may eat potatoes, jackals may (eat the) grapes. Plant louses may eat the leaves of trees. When the fruit(s) are ripe, some economic policies of government may cause some problems about selling them. This kind of problems makes farming a hard works (job).
Thanks a lot Mr. Sharifi,
The paragraph is well-sturctured. It has a topic sentence and a number of supporting sentences. But, it looks monotonous because all the supporting sentences are Simple Sentences. Good writers use a veriety of sentence types, such as complex and compound sentences.
Growth of the population (population growth) was an advantage in the past and (but) a disadvantage nowadays. In the past the countries face to (faced) wars with each other,(so) the number of youths who could defend the country or the certain policy (policies) was important. They were sent to fronts to protect those policies and were dead to keep alive those kings. When Darius was fighting with the Greece(,) he required (needed) the army for fighting. This kind of things causes (make) the kings to encourage the people to have more and more children to supporting (support) their army. In the villages parents need (needed) more and more children especially boys for working in the fields and for supporting the family in the cases that (where) the father of the family was sick or was dead. Fathers were glad when they have (had) more boys. Others respect (resepcted) him. They didn’t (din not) dare to say something to him. Diseases killed many people. Fear of death cause (caused) the people to have more children....
But nowadays other factors interfere and change this situation. Growth of the population cause (leads) to lack of the money, lack of the job, home, economic pressure and etc. and (And) these new factors force the people to limit the rate of the growth of the people. When you have less children, you are able to concentrate much more about them. It is not necessary to bring up children that are druggies, haven’t any home, any job, and etc.
Dear Mr. Sharifi,
Thank you for posting to the blog. But, as you see, there are many grammatical errors in the paragraph. Your main problems here are the use of "the" and the "tense" of verbs. Tense should be consistent throughout the paragraph. If you started the first verb with past tense, you should continue it to the end of paragraph. In addition, since we are still practicing paragraph writing, please, only write one-paragraph essays.
Ali Sultani
Our country is one of the great (greatest) bases (centers) of the culture & (and) civilization. There is a relationship between religion & (,) culture & (and) civilization. Religion is base of the culture & (and) culture is (the) base of the civilization. I mean:
Religion ……..> culture ………> civilization
Iranians were familiar with some sciences like medicine & (and) astronomy. In Iran scientific activities had reached to its peak in the age of “Khosrov anoshirvan (Anoshirvan)” (531-78 AD). Center of this scientism (these scientific activities) was “Gondi (S)shapoor” (between Shoshtar and Dezful). They built schools there and invited scientists and teachers from Christians (the Christian world) there. Because all the kings were cruel and they kill (killed) whom (whoever) they want (wanted), Iranian people were annoyed and they look (looked) for a situation to get rid of the injustice and the kings. These circumstances maid (made) a good base for Islam to grow and spread there. They were ready to accept Islam. When Islam came to Iran, (the) majority of Iranians accept (accepted) it and get its sciences in their arms (welcomed Islamic sciences). I will mention the name of some of our scientists -that their (whose) names are familiar to the universe like the sun - in the future.
